Blocks

The past week or so I ran into the first significant block/wall in my sabbatical. It started with having a few insights and ideas about things to change or add in the church ministry. They were good thoughts but it seems they quickly moved into some self - imposed fretting about my 'need" to come up with new ideas, some great insight that will open up an "exciting" new door for our church's future. As I began worrying about the need to come up with "things to do" I found that my sabbath joys were dissipating, the rest I was experiencing began to give way to burdens.

I have given some thought to the cause and cure for this. New ideas can be a great thing and I trust the Lord will direct us as a church along His paths - I suspect He will bring many good changes in the months and years ahead - nothing wrong with activity - it is an integral part of ministry and part of my responsibility.  I think the problem - the cause of the blockage in my rest - was rushing on to activity - moving on to doing something before I had spent the Lord's allotment of time sitting... waiting ... releasing ... ceasing ... enjoying. It is so easy to rush toward labor - the need to be productive - before thoroughly entering rest - the need to be "unproductive" - dependent. Exodus 31:17 says that God "ceased from labor and was refreshed." New ideas, fresh insights and inspired productivity flow from regular sabbath experiences with the Lord - when they come before ceasing - they feel burdensome and don't minister life.

Ideally each day should be a mixture of ceasing, resting and doing. In reality I get swept towards activity - doing before being. Lord, draw me to You - give me a thirst for sitting at Your feet - there is much to do but I want it to be in Your timing and of Your design! Amen

study

Many of you have perhaps heard of Rob Bell's new book "Love Wins", I know that some of you have read it. I read the book, it asks many good and challenging questions in the way only Rob Bell can. It also, I believe, offers up some misguided answers. I have no intention of discussing the book here or my own views but I would like to direct you to a great video clip by Francis Chan that I have included on the left side of this blog page. Chan addresses issues surrounding how we respond to those in the body of Christ that might present views with which we disagree - perhaps strongly. He presents a call to listen, to love, to challenge, to look inside, and mostly to be students of the Word. How we respond (our attitudes and words) and the basis from which we respond (our hearts before God and our diligence in study), will say a great deal about the bride of Christ and its reflection of our Savior. So, watch the video  http://youtu.be/qnrJVTSYLr8  and then as we deal with controversial issues, cling to Jesus and dig into His Word.

Floating

I have been enjoying my own private oasis this week. Our 15' X 4' pool from Target is usually an arena of violence and competition. My son calls me out to the arena daily for our summer version of backyard basketball - put it in the bucket - anything goes! Although I might occasionally come away with a win, I always come away with a battered body and a lack of oxygen.

This week has been different - since my son has been at basketball camp during the day, the afternoons have been quiet and free of pool brawl. Instead, I have gone out each afternoon, skimmed the pool, dunked myself underwater once and then have peacefully reclined on my $1.50 raft of delight. Twenty minutes (or until my sweat starts boiling) of peaceful, silent, uninterrupted floating in a mini backyard paradise.

It is just 20 minutes, but those brief minutes of calm and stillness have brought huge dividends of strength and renewal. It has once again been a reminder of the wisdom of sabbath moments.  Sabbath moments must always begin with "ceasing" or "stopping". It doesn't matter if the ceasing occurs in a pew, on a bus, at a desk, in the library, standing at the sink, waiting in a line or even floating in a little pool - when we cease our striving we open the door to the Lord's renewal, power and a regaining of a right understanding of our great need for Him in every moment.

Isaiah 30:15 "... in quietness and trust is your strength." My peaceful afternoons will soon come to an end but with a little effort we can always find opportunities for "sabbath moments." We must - they are God's design for strength in our day.

Holes

This week I once again set up our backyard pool which we purchased at Target three years ago. After 7 years of "interesting" and "terrifying" experiences with our pools, this one has been trouble free - well, less trouble free. Anyways, I get it set up and proceed to start filling it with water. When it was about 18 inches deep I noticed that the dirt in one spot below the pool was wet. As I checked the vinyl pool I noticed about 3 inches under the pool a tiny pin hole with water spraying out! Fortunately I was able to apply a small patch which appears to be holding.

The pin hole was undetectable until I added water - the pressure revealed the weakness. If I had ignored it and continued filling the pool and thus increasing the pressure it would have likely split open and the whole pool would have been lost. (I know this by a previous experience!) Had the pin hole been further underneath the pool I might have noticed it too late.

A couple weeks now into my sabbatical and I have noticed a number of "pin hole" sized "leaks" in my life. These are not huge tragic weaknesses but small, hidden, weaknesses left unnoticed for too long. They include ways I waste time, small attitude problems, impatience over unimportant issues, lack of attentiveness to conversations, selfish protection of routines that could be more flexible, discontent, harboring small hurts..... Alot of "pin hole" sized problems can add up to big troubles and left uncared for will become very noticeable eventually. As I have had time away from "work" I have realized that busy days can be a very effective cover up for my weaknesses and sins.

I Timothy 4:16 says "pay close attention to yourself and your teaching; persevere in these things ...." Learning to take notice, bringing them before the Lord, doing some daily patch work, refilling on the fresh water of the Spirit - small daily habits that bring health and life and growth.

There is a tree over our pool that drops small yellow flowers into the water everyday. Each morning I use the skimming net to clean it up - skip a day and the job gets big but on a daily basis it is a small matter. So in this day I'll pay attention to the small "leaks" in my life -  the Lord is good at repairing and mending and renewing.

Looking

Much has been said in many blogs and on Sunday morning around the country since "Judgment Day" passed by.  I read that Harold Camping intended to spend the hours preceding the rapture watching his television in order to see the events around the world ... I found that rather peculiar but it got me thinking about what it means to be "Looking for the blessed hope and appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus ..." Titus 2:13. Along the same lines, what does it mean to "be alert?" Matt. 24:42

I suppose if I knew for a fact that he was coming today at 6pm my day would look a bit different but what should it look like when we believe He can come at any moment? I believe that "looking" is really all about "living". The Lord brings all sorts of activities, interactions, routines, tasks and opportunities into any given day - they have eternal value and bring glory to God when they are infused by His Spirit and offered to Him. When I am looking to the callings and tasks of my day as coming from Him, then in that day I have been "looking" for His coming. To "be alert" is to be alive to the moment, to see His activity in the present, to be aware of His working through me and around me especially in the daily routines.

So, when Jesus does return, I hope He doesn't find me staring up into the sky or watching for the end of the world on the television. He will probably find me doing some chore, studying for Sunday, talking with someone over coffee, driving my kids somewhere, taking out the garbage, shooting baskets with my son .... "looking for the blessed hope" is doing every activity in His strength, offered for His glory.

sabbatical

Today I begin my 4th day of a three month sabbatical. As the term implies, it is intended to bring rest on a variety of levels and the resulting refreshment of body and ministry vision that such a rest should produce. Although I have been looking forward to a renewal of vision, time with family and the opportunity to study, I had not given much thought to needing rest - I wasn't aware of  feeling tired on any significant levels.

                                                                my new home at home

   I was wrong! These first days of getting settled into a new routine, organizing a study area, and really  being with my family have have been a delight. The one word that describes what I felt almost immediately was "unburdened". Carrying any load or burden is tiring and yet I was going along unaware of holding a burden and not in touch that it was tiring me out. That's a bit scary - to be that unaware!

So what are the great "burdens" that I have been carrying? I think they are nothing more than the ones we are all tempted to carry - work responsibilities, family demands and schedules, finances, personal hopes and goals, daily chores - nothing out of the ordinary, as a matter of fact - they will always be there - they are part of the life the Lord has placed us in... The problem is that I have carried them - not the Lord. Having these burdens miracuously lifted in these first days has brought me to see that if I had left these for Jesus to carry - I could have been experiencing refreshment on a much deeper level not just on sabbatical but as an ongoing, daily reality prior to this time. Jesus said "... you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matt. 11:30

It is amazing that we can carry a very heavy load and actually grow accustomed to it, to mistake tired trudging for a free and restful walk with Jesus.

A Prayer

The Valley of Vision by Arthur Bennett (1975)

"Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime, stars can be seen
from the deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine.
Let me find Thy light in my darkness,
Thy life in my death,
Thy joy in my sorrow,
Thy grace in my sin,
Thy riches in my poverty,
Thy glory in my valley."