Tuesday, April 23, 2013


I don't actually get down on my knees to pray very often. I remember as a kid kneeling by my bed - the last thing I would do before resting in the Lord. It was a good habit - long abandoned. I recall at a service one summer at Maranatha Bible Conference, the teacher had everyone kneel ... there were old wooden benches and bark for the flooring - I spent most of the prayer moments trying to rearrange the bark.

Getting on my knees means I really need help - John 15:5 says "apart from me you can do nothing."
I am always in desperate need of help yet I will usually only get to my knees when all else fails or when our worship leader instructs us to get on our knees as Cameron did this past weekend! The song we sang by Seryn goes like this...

On my knees, I can see, where my heart needs to be
When this life, gets to me, I'll be found, on my knees

Truth is, when life gets to me I first ignore it, pretend all is well. When that fails to sustain I then jump in on my own and try to wrestle it into submission - I usually get beat up in the process. Eventually I begin to wilt and then - ever so slowly - start dropping to my knees - one at a time of course - there in that moment I do begin to see my heart and where it needs to be - it is desperate, hurting, needy - it is also held, embraced, loved by the Father and made alive in Christ. In those good moments that I come to so haltingly - I don't necessarily see how to manage life - but I do see a great God, a companion, a healer - and on my knees I do find rest.

For a great reflection on our kneeling experience this past weekend I would recommend Kirsten Phillips blog and her post "undignified" - see it here:


Wednesday, April 17, 2013


Last week we finished our look at John the baptist and glossed over the statement in Luke 7:24 ff...
"Jesus began to speak to the crowds concerning John:"What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind?"

The implied answer was of course - No! The one who came in the spirit and power of Elijah seemed to be anything but a reed shaken by the wind. Even in his times of questions and doubts, Jesus commended him for his steadfastness of work and mission. John had a confidence and conviction about who he was, who Jesus was and clarity about his own calling and mission. This gave him a foundation that enabled him to move through his day and step aside when it was time.

I am not like that! On the outside I can appear confident and focused and at ease with all that comes along... but inside I am often uncertain, confused and way too often just responding to the needs and demands of any given moment. Jesus never seemed pressed by the moment, he was not ruled by the urgent or distracted away from His primary callings. When I am tossed and shaken like a reed, my days become unsatisfying and I trade the Lord's call and work for something else altogether.

So - what is the solution - I am not altogether sure but i seem to always be taken back to the need for regular Sabbath days and moments - stopping when all is pushing and then yielding. Everything in me screams not to do that but when I do - the screaming quiets down, the striving ends, and the way gets clear again.