The past week or so I ran into the first significant block/wall in my sabbatical. It started with having a few insights and ideas about things to change or add in the church ministry. They were good thoughts but it seems they quickly moved into some self - imposed fretting about my 'need" to come up with new ideas, some great insight that will open up an "exciting" new door for our church's future. As I began worrying about the need to come up with "things to do" I found that my sabbath joys were dissipating, the rest I was experiencing began to give way to burdens.
I have given some thought to the cause and cure for this. New ideas can be a great thing and I trust the Lord will direct us as a church along His paths - I suspect He will bring many good changes in the months and years ahead - nothing wrong with activity - it is an integral part of ministry and part of my responsibility. I think the problem - the cause of the blockage in my rest - was rushing on to activity - moving on to doing something before I had spent the Lord's allotment of time sitting... waiting ... releasing ... ceasing ... enjoying. It is so easy to rush toward labor - the need to be productive - before thoroughly entering rest - the need to be "unproductive" - dependent. Exodus 31:17 says that God "ceased from labor and was refreshed." New ideas, fresh insights and inspired productivity flow from regular sabbath experiences with the Lord - when they come before ceasing - they feel burdensome and don't minister life.
Ideally each day should be a mixture of ceasing, resting and doing. In reality I get swept towards activity - doing before being. Lord, draw me to You - give me a thirst for sitting at Your feet - there is much to do but I want it to be in Your timing and of Your design! Amen
I think a sabbatical ("any extended period of leave from one's customary work, especially for rest; and for acquiring new skills or training")is at some point(at the beginning or the middle) a monster of a challenge.
ReplyDeleteAfter an extended period of doing the urgent things, the planned and unplanned, the expected and the unexpected, the necessary and the whimsical....to release, let go, be quiet, sit with deep humility, for extended times, at His feet; is both impossible and absolutely necessary. It becomes the deepest desire of the heart, while the flesh and habits battle to become victors. But.....our God is a faithful God and will draw us, wait for us, meet us, over and over again, faithfully, willingly, joyfully; until we get it... a habit, stronger than all others.