knees

I don't actually get down on my knees to pray very often. I remember as a kid kneeling by my bed - the last thing I would do before resting in the Lord. It was a good habit - long abandoned. I recall at a service one summer at Maranatha Bible Conference, the teacher had everyone kneel ... there were old wooden benches and bark for the flooring - I spent most of the prayer moments trying to rearrange the bark.

Getting on my knees means I really need help - John 15:5 says "apart from me you can do nothing."
I am always in desperate need of help yet I will usually only get to my knees when all else fails or when our worship leader instructs us to get on our knees as Cameron did this past weekend! The song we sang by Seryn goes like this...

On my knees, I can see, where my heart needs to be

When this life, gets to me, I'll be found, on my knees

Truth is, when life gets to me I first ignore it, pretend all is well. When that fails to sustain I then jump in on my own and try to wrestle it into submission - I usually get beat up in the process. Eventually I begin to wilt and then - ever so slowly - start dropping to my knees - one at a time of course - there in that moment I do begin to see my heart and where it needs to be - it is desperate, hurting, needy - it is also held, embraced, loved by the Father and made alive in Christ. In those good moments that I come to so haltingly - I don't necessarily see how to manage life - but I do see a great God, a companion, a healer - and on my knees I do find rest.

For a great reflection on our kneeling experience this past weekend I would recommend Kirsten Phillips blog and her post "undignified" - see it here:

www.thekirstentree.com

Shaken

Last week we finished our look at John the baptist and glossed over the statement in Luke 7:24 ff...
"Jesus began to speak to the crowds concerning John:"What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind?"

The implied answer was of course - No! The one who came in the spirit and power of Elijah seemed to be anything but a reed shaken by the wind. Even in his times of questions and doubts, Jesus commended him for his steadfastness of work and mission. John had a confidence and conviction about who he was, who Jesus was and clarity about his own calling and mission. This gave him a foundation that enabled him to move through his day and step aside when it was time.

I am not like that! On the outside I can appear confident and focused and at ease with all that comes along... but inside I am often uncertain, confused and way too often just responding to the needs and demands of any given moment. Jesus never seemed pressed by the moment, he was not ruled by the urgent or distracted away from His primary callings. When I am tossed and shaken like a reed, my days become unsatisfying and I trade the Lord's call and work for something else altogether.

So - what is the solution - I am not altogether sure but i seem to always be taken back to the need for regular Sabbath days and moments - stopping when all is pushing and then yielding. Everything in me screams not to do that but when I do - the screaming quiets down, the striving ends, and the way gets clear again.

Pilate

This past weekend we continued our journey meeting people along the path with Jesus from the book of Luke. Our last individual was Pilate and we paid attention to him as a man that was trying to keep control, attempting to manage his own life, a man desperately trying to make life work. In truth he was a man out of control and his life was racing ahead with out steering and without brakes -the crash at the end was inevitable. His life ended in obscurity and apparent suicide.

As we always do in our teaching, we then turned the mirror on ourselves - I am much like Pilate, trying to manage, control and make life work in my own strength and on my own terms - a life heading for a crash .... and then there is Jesus - at peace, calling me to let it go into His hands and to relinquish control to Him alone. In that letting go of my grip and placing it in His hands -Life is found.

As I have continued to contemplate the message, the question comes: "how can I recognize when I am not leaving it with Him?"  In truth, I can be thoroughly convinced that the way I am moving through my day is correct and necessary - I, more often than not, don't even notice the problem and the degree to which I am managing on my own and gripping onto control. So... what can we do in order to gain better insight?

1) Friendship. Having at least one really good friend, someone who can see your life objectively and who can gracefully yet directly speak into it. Men, in particular, suffer a great lack of friendships and thus miss out on a God designed means of input and shaping in their lives. For a good blog on this issue go to:  http://followingtolead.com/following/what-men-know-they-need-but-dont-know-how-to-get/

2) Worship. Genuine personal and corporate worship is nearly impossible when I am hanging onto my life too tightly. Worship reorients us correctly to God, so I have found it difficult but fruitful to pause after times of worship and consider whether I was really worshiping or just mouthing the words. If I really enter worship - I will see the disorder in my life and find the Lord ready to reshape my days.

3) Sabbath. Sabbath patterns are designed by God to remind us of our need - to remind us of the fact that life doesn't work unless the Lord is in control. Stopping, yielding, resting, celebrating - these are gifts that shape us and bring life into life.

Snow

So it snowed today in Tucson. The Accenture Golf Match was postponed. Facebook lit up with pictures of every one's backyard. families were sledding down the hills at Lakeside Park by my house. My Jeep - open because it was 74 degrees the day before and also because - well this is S. Arizona - is now full of snow. My kids went down to the park and built a snowman. I remember making snowmen in Chicago and they would still be standing tall 2 months later. I expect the little snowman in our park has a very short life - perhaps a couple hours before Tucson returns to its usual warm and sunny self and our snowman is only a memory.

How quickly our routines and lives are shaken up a bit (the snow surprise was fun) and how quickly - like snow in Tucson - it will all be forgotten.

I have been thinking about contentment. I can be so deeply discontent and anxious - thoughts of the Lord are driven to the periphery of my mind and heart... then He steps in - as He always does - and accomplishes something wondrous and affirming and needful in my life - I shout out His praise, I give thanks - I "feel" content again .... then a week later or perhaps just a day - my memories of His provision and love and surprise - melt away and my discontent returns. Psalm 62:1 says "My soul waits in silence for God only..." God only ... that is enough! I can do without provision but I can't do without Him - and He is enough. Thomas Watson said, "It is not trouble that troubles, but discontent. It is not the water outside the ship, but the water which gets within the leak which drowns it. It is not outward affliction that can make the life of a Christian sad; a contented mind would sail above these waters."  Contentment lies in Christ alone and He is always there.

love speaks

We have been considering in our service the great wonder of what Tozer calls "God's speaking voice." Through general and special revelation our Creator is always speaking - sometimes shouting, often whispering, but always speaking. His revelation is an overflow from His heart for us. 

The past few days I have been freshly aware that His choice to speak to me - to reveal Himself - is an act of love. Even when I am closed, distant, shielding and inattentive, he speaks words of spirit and life - and it just keeps coming. I need to be filled with that kind of love - closing off to others and God, keeping apart ... at a "safe" distance ... in doing so I fail to enjoy fully the love of God and others and I fail to give the love of God. May the cry of our heart be to be filled with that kind of love so that that as He speaks and reveals and demonstrates His unwavering love - we might do the same.

Here are two hymns that have really spoken to me...

O love that wilt not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in Thee;

I give Thee back the life I owe,

That in Thine ocean depths its flow

may richer, fuller be.  (G. Mattheson)

I love Thee so I know not how

My transports to control;

Thy love is like a burning fire

Within my very soul

Burn, burn, O love, within my heart,

Burn fiercely night and day,

Till all the dross of earthly loves

I burned, and burned away. (F. Faber)

New year

A hymn to consider as we enter a new year. The words are by William Gadsby with some modifications by Sandra McCracken.  You can listen to it here:  http://youtu.be/IDNcTqBLKFg

Jesus, the Lord, My Savior

1. Jesus, the Lord, my Savior is,
My Shepherd, and my God;
My light, my strength, my joy, my bliss;
And I His grace record.

2. Whate’er I need in Jesus dwells,
And there it dwells for me;
’Tis Christ my earthen vessel fills
With treasures rich and free.

 

Chorus: Mercy and truth and righteousness,
And peace, most richly meet
In Jesus Christ, the King of grace,
In Whom I stand complete.

3. As through the wilderness I roam,
His mercies I’ll proclaim;
And when I safely reach my home,
I’ll still adore His name.

4. “Worthy the Lamb,” shall be my song,
“For He for me was slain;”
And me with all the heavenly throng
Shall join, and say, “Amen.”

© 2001 Same Old Dress Music (ASCAP).

Target

Consider these words from a portion of Handel's Messiah:

For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

The kingdom of this world
Is become the kingdom of our Lord,
And of His Christ, and of His Christ;
And He shall reign for ever and ever,
For ever and ever, forever and ever,

Such a simple but life altering truth.The Lord reigns! Here and now!  Advent is a great reminder that the eternal reigning Lord came here among us to bring life and that He will also return again. When we bring our praise to Him alone and align our hearts and thoughts around Jesus - life gets reordered and infused with purpose, value and strength. What a great message for our neighbors to hear.

Instead, what message do they hear during Christmas. While watching football this past weekend as well as the unending parade of commercials, one disturbed me the most. It was an ad for the Target Red Card and was structured around the Hallelujah chorus. At a time when people desperately need to find Jesus as their only hope and delight, they get directed to a store packed with frenzied buyers - a very different kind of Kingdom. I'd boycott Target except for the fact that I can't expect them to know any better.

"Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd." Matthew 9:36 What a timely picture - people moving through life feeling hurried, harassed, downcast and aimless. What was the response of Jesus? Compassion!

During this time of year, the distortion of who Jesus is and the relegation of Him to the fringes of Christmas usually elicits frustration and anger in me and anything but compassion. Jesus got it right and calls me to the same. Target Stores and the rest of the world may sing Hallelujah to anything  but rather than getting fed up with it I should have a broken heart for aimless people who need to hear the wonder of the Gospel and find the beauty of a life that lifts up hallelujahs to Jesus alone! Lord, may my life declare a hallelujah to You by living the Gospel out with compassion in the midst of a world that needs to see You.