knees

I don't actually get down on my knees to pray very often. I remember as a kid kneeling by my bed - the last thing I would do before resting in the Lord. It was a good habit - long abandoned. I recall at a service one summer at Maranatha Bible Conference, the teacher had everyone kneel ... there were old wooden benches and bark for the flooring - I spent most of the prayer moments trying to rearrange the bark.

Getting on my knees means I really need help - John 15:5 says "apart from me you can do nothing."
I am always in desperate need of help yet I will usually only get to my knees when all else fails or when our worship leader instructs us to get on our knees as Cameron did this past weekend! The song we sang by Seryn goes like this...

On my knees, I can see, where my heart needs to be

When this life, gets to me, I'll be found, on my knees

Truth is, when life gets to me I first ignore it, pretend all is well. When that fails to sustain I then jump in on my own and try to wrestle it into submission - I usually get beat up in the process. Eventually I begin to wilt and then - ever so slowly - start dropping to my knees - one at a time of course - there in that moment I do begin to see my heart and where it needs to be - it is desperate, hurting, needy - it is also held, embraced, loved by the Father and made alive in Christ. In those good moments that I come to so haltingly - I don't necessarily see how to manage life - but I do see a great God, a companion, a healer - and on my knees I do find rest.

For a great reflection on our kneeling experience this past weekend I would recommend Kirsten Phillips blog and her post "undignified" - see it here:

www.thekirstentree.com