It was a perfect place- the trees were incredible, the cabin comfortable and quiet - the only sound was the creaking floor and the wind - I had plenty of coffee - comfortable blankets - perfect! So Wednesday afternoon, evening and Thursday morning were all mine...
But I was so restless!!
I kept getting distracted from my time and its purposes and kept feeling this urgency to make the short drive back to a full busy life, responsibilities, opportunities, my list that was waiting. The other voice reminded me that I was up here for something of value with just the Lord, to rediscover what makes a truly "full" life...
But I was so restless!
Each year I spend 6-8 days out in the desert near Cascabel - it is completely isolated, silent, absolute solitude. I get restless there as well - the rest of life has a very loud, persistent and compelling voice - but in this desert place, I can't leave - I literally have no way out till my arranged ride comes to pick me up .... so, restless as I am, I persevere through it. It takes a couple days or so, but those loud voices that make me restless begin to quiet down and the benefits of solitude and silence begin to break through.
Up on Mt. Lemmon it was too easy to leave, to give in to the restlessness and so.... I headed down earlier than planned and drove straight to my office, and my mail, and my lists! As a result, some of the shaping that God desired to do in me - didn't happen.
I have come to realize that the restlessness is actually there Holy Spirit letting me know that I have allowed to much in, too much clutter in my heart and mind and soul - the restlessness I feel in my quiet moments are a warning as well as an invitation... an invitation to stillness and rest and fullness and peace and eventually work that is empowered by the Spirit.
So today - stop long enough to feel the restlessness and the invitation. It is only when we hit the brakes and lunge forward that we notice how fast we are going and often how far away we have gotten.
A good word. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteOne gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. Proverbs 11:24-25
ReplyDeleteSo there have been a lot of frantic texts last night and this morning asking for a money order to be sent immediately. And I responded with what I thought was warm wise grace offering options and ideas and reason.
But. I who know better, again and again, had yet another ah ha moment. Why not ask God? Pause. Listen. What a concept. Once again.
And the Spirit drove me to Chris’s blog: The Shipwrecked Pilgrim.
I have come to realize that the restlessness is actually there Holy Spirit letting me know that I have allowed to much in, too much clutter in my heart and mind and soul - the restlessness I feel in my quiet moments are a warning as well as an invitation... an invitation to stillness and rest and fullness and peace and eventually work that is empowered by the Spirit.
So today - stop long enough to feel the restlessness and the invitation. It is only when we hit the brakes and lunge forward that we notice how fast we are going and often how far away we have gotten.
I have been the Checklist Queen this last week. My grades are in, my bags are packed, I am ready to go. I took Alan’s bike out for a practice spin this morning. I found the Nikon COOLPIX S210 8.0 digital camera for Matteo’s cousin at the fourth thrift store on Speedway yesterday afternoon. I am even working on my second summer book on the second day of summer vacation. Check check check.
Clutter.
But stillness and rest?
Ah.
Flip back to that wisdom stuff I am working on. And of course. Ask and you will receive.
Gives freely. No restrictions. No clauses in fine print. No judgment calls.
Gives freely.
And to Whom am I giving? To Him who withholds no good thing. So that I may be a child of my Father who is in heaven. For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
And sometimes I fuss a little at Alan as the water splashes down and around the pots and trees and baskets and garden beds and pools in the grassy sections. Especially once a month when Tucson Waters asks me to settle accounts.
But man, is it beautiful. The flowers cascading off of the Ray-inspired stage, the baskets of sweet peaches. The veritable forest of red and orange-stemmed kale. The jasmine twisting around the metal arch.
Well-watered. I am indeed well-watered.
Old Nicole is posting maps on Facebook for everyone to see.
And this give and it shall be given unto you verse, the shared life verse that is not so much about stuff or time, but about mercy. Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.
Pause.
Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.
I texted back: What can I do to help?